The Powerful Magic of Tinfoil Stars

November 18, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

This year, as I perused the walls of Halloween costumes with my 2 teenage sons (a pilgrimage we make together every year) I ventured off on my own, leaving my boys among the bloody appendages and creepy clown masks.

For me growing up, Halloween was never about scary masks, but more about magic and more about dreams of what could be. Actually, most of my childhood was about the magic. So as I looked around for a costume for a friend’s party that day it came as no surprise that I should be drawn to a display filled with sparkly fairy wands. And though they were quite spectacular with their crystals, glitter, and tinsel, none compared to my magic wands from my past.

Things That Go Bump ... Caring through the Fear.

November 9, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

So today my car was hit in the parking lot of my school before I could even get to a spot. All of the dangerous highway miles I commute daily, minutes from arriving safe and sound, and boom this guy hits me directly in my rear drivers side tire.

Understandably, I was quite shaken up. The force of the hit jolted the car, and I was certain the damage was bad. Shaking, I got out and examined the damage, only to find to deep gouges on the hub caps and a small dent in the panel near the tire. I was amazed, baffled really, by the lack of visual damage.

I called in to the officers on duty, while the gentleman who had just dropped his daughter off apologized. We both gathered our paperwork for the report and again he apologized. I could tell in my heart he was truly sorry and I really tried to stay calm and hold my emotions that were bubbling up. I wanted to blame, judge, even yell, but instead remained as calm as I could and thanked God for the outcome.

The situation was not an easy one for me, though, because although the damage appeared to be minimal, my nervous system and body disagreed. For them this was serious sh**.

10 Signs It's Time for a Heavy Dose of Self-Care

October 19, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

Through-out all of my work with busy, caring women and of course my own life experiences, I have found that there are several signs that we are in need of some big loving and self-care. These signals start out as temporary, but if untreated can turn into entrenched habits if we continue to deny ourselves of the rest and self-care we really need.

The problem is that many of us still believe that self-care is selfish, costs too much, takes too much time, or should come last after you have taken care of everyone else!

Guess what, we are no good to anyone if we are run-down, depleted, and burnt out. We can’t possibly give the loving, intentional caring energy we wish to give to others if we can’t give that to ourselves. We have nothing left to give. It is all about energy. Loving energy. And frankly if you are showing some of these signs, you're probably not too pleasant to be around … even for yourself.

So what are the signs that it is time for a heavy dose of self-care?

Autumn's Gift - Sensory Self-Care

October 13, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

This past weekend I was away on a family trip to Vermont. A three day weekend during peak leaf peeping season on a beautiful property in Woodstock. The gratitude for this gift overflows. As I was counting my blessings for all that surrounded me, I realized that one of the reasons why this weekend was so powerful, was that is was fulfilling to all five senses.

This had me thinking about my favorite self-care treats and I realized the best experiences are truly a buffet for the senses. Smell, touch, sight, sound, and yes ... taste! Not only do our senses help us enjoy the experience, but by pulling our five senses into our self-care, we can be more present and in the moment.

The Gift

September 10, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

Today I experienced a life lesson so clear it was like a gift all wrapped and neatly tied waiting for me to open and learn from it. My morning started with a really great conversation with a fellow co-worker who happened to ask how my summer was.

Back to Life. Back to Reality.

August 28, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

As I transition from my summer break back to my position as a school counselor, I know that this summer has changed me profoundly and that I will never be the same. This growth has come from surrounding myself with like minded people and following a passion that lead to the creation of Whole Woman, Whole You.

Going back to work full time can be a little scary. I know you've been there. Vacation allows you to truly create your environment and schedule. You can quiet the noise enough to hear your inner voice. You decide what to do and when to do it. In this space you take some time to step off the merry go round. And if you're lucky, you find another piece of yourself.

10 Feelings to Expect when You "Get Away"

August 13, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

Getting away on a personal retreat can be challenging for some, especially those who need it most, and will undoubtedly bring up unexpected feelings. If you truly want to feel the benefit of this time alone, it is imperative to go with the flow, and feel through these feelings. They are part of the journey and all of the growth. So what will you feel?

Your Deepest Fear

July 14, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

Sometimes our deepest fear hides below the surface and eats away at our self esteem without us even identifying what it is.

We all have moments in our past that we let define who we are, what we are good at, and what we are not good at. Most of these moments are false. We allowed someone else to define our strengths and weaknesses and now we live our life by these unspoken rules.

Life is Harsh at the Edge

July 3, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

“Life is harsh at the edge of the sea. The soil is nothing more than wind blown sand with little ability to hold water. There are few nutrients in the granitic soil. The winter gales prune any plant exposed more than others. Salt spray whipped out of surf will inhibit or kill all but most tolerant plants.

But further inland these conditions soften the dehydrating effects of the salt spray lessen, a down wind slope provides shelter from the pruning effects of salt spray and wind, and toward the cedar swamp there is a change to richer soil, able to hold more water. One condition grades into another and likewise there is a transition of plants best suited to each place along the way. - Glen Kaye “Atlantic White Cedar Swamp Trail” (NPS, Dept of Interior, 1999)”

Growing up on Cape Cod gave me childhood experiences that were magical and adventuresome, and would shape my desire for nature and the sea as integral parts of my day and spiritual being!

This excerpt was taken from a visitor’s guide for the Atlantic White Cedar Swamp one of many of the National Seashore Trails located in Truro , Massachusetts , but it is also a guide for those enticed to live life on the edge. Which conditions are you most suited to? Many of us live our lives at the edge of the sea and thrive. We crave the salt spray on our skin as we face our daily rounds. We love the feel of the shifting sands underfoot and the promise that the landscape will be shaped differently tomorrow.

There will be times we may think we want to move inland. Maybe we need time to heal, rest, or renew. But for those of us who live with our faces to the sea, this is only temporary. We would shrivel from the calmness and monotony of the denser inland soil. Our souls need the invigorating salt air and our eyes need the wide open sea and sky in order to see the possibilities in life.

Sand may sting our faces, salt spray may burn our eyes, but we live our lives wide open to the promise of the vast horizon of white caps or calm seas. High tide or low we adapt to the changing seascape and the predictable ebb and flow of life.

Self Assessment:

What are three ways you live "at the edge"?
What are three ways you live more "inland"?
Can you see a pattern in when you need to be more one way or another? Maybe it’s how you feel about a certain topic, or it’s related to where you are in your life right now.
Notice where you are with this and honor your self. We often need a balance between the certain and the uncertain to feel alive, but also safe.

Meditation Can Help

June 24, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

As busy women , whole women, worry fear and anger are very real parts of our everyday living. Fighting against these feelings or judging ourselves for feeling a certain way is never helpful. You know what I mean. We judge ourselves for our feelings and worries all of the time.

The Beauty of Imperfection

June 13, 2015 Melissa Kitchen

Like these apple blossoms, we all have our own qualities that make us individuals. Many times we want to hide these imperfections or cover them up, but it is in the struggles and blemishes that we become individuals.

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